So I have no idea how I missed this — probably because I was too busy musing self-indulgently on other Hornets fans — but this ingenious Hornets fan made and incredibly attractive sign that psyched out Tony Parker at the free throw line during Game 5 in New Orleans on Tuesday. And, deservedly so, this guy made it on a segment on ESPN’s “Pardon the Interruption.”

So there you have it, if you want to make opposing players miss free throws, and possibly make it onto ESPN, just hold up a picture of that player’s wife. Seeing as how Hornets fans have gone above and beyond in terms of signs lately, I expect everyone to go all out for Game 7 Monday night. With that said though, I looked through the internet and found some possible sign fodder that could be used in Game 7:

• Tim Duncan: TIMMMMAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!
• Robert Horry: Cheap Shot Rob
• Brent Barry: Not as Good as Rick or Can you sign my card? (That would be Brent Barry at the 30-second mark)
• Bruce Bowen: Kicking and screaming
• Manu Ginobili: We need a quick brisket
• Michael Finley: Lost to Brent Barry in the ‘96 Slam Dunk competition
• Kurt Thomas: Accomplished Gymnast

Do as you please, Hornets fans.

Recent visits to Maximo’s Italian Grill for last week’s review got me thinking about the trend of open kitchen’s and “food bars.”

It’s an entertaining concept, and there are now plenty of upscale restaurants where you can watch cooks prepare your meal. Emeril’s has its food bar, for instance, and I’ve long regarded the handful of bar stools facing the tiny kitchen at One Restaurant in the Riverbend as some of the best seats in town because they allow such a detailed view into the preparation of your meal. Even the updated, post-Katrina reincarnation of Ye Olde College Inn, that once crotchety old dining den, has two seats facing the kitchen, for those interested enough to watch orders of onion rings and sheets of paneed veal come together. (more…)

Since moving down here back in August (still can’t believe it hasn’t been a year yet) I’ve been completely enthralled with New Orlenians and their passion for their sports teams. From LSU and Saints football to the recent emergence of the Hornets, it’s a contagious atmosphere to say the least. Anyone who’s paid attention to my entries on this blog knows how much attention I’ve given the fans. And I’d say it’s been deservedly so.

Before moving down here I heard many people worry on my behalf about moving to a city that’s still viewed in the rest of the country as a recovery zone. I had my own worries as well, as would be expected when you pick up and decided to move to a completely new city on a whim. But all of my trepidation was quickly assuaged the first night I spent here and it’s been smooth sailing ever since. (more…)

For example, too often, the protagonist breaks out of scene to read from a dog-eared journal, long descriptive passages and direct narration that the playwright wanted to preserve from his novel, but could find no other way to dramatize, I suppose. These interruptions stop the drama dead each time. We writers fall in love with our own words, and are loathe to cut them. My unasked for advice (you knew it was coming): cut ‘em anyway. Like the Titans of old, we eat our own children. Besides, if you can’t dramatize it, then how is it drama? (more…)

I could come up with a million excuses as to why it took me so long to post this, but really, it all comes down to laziness.

Regardless, the Saints held their rookie camp this past weekend and invited media folks on Saturday to talk to players and head coach Sean Payton. For those of you who aren’t familiar, rookie camp is a place were draft picks, un-drafted free-agents and general NFL hangers ons get a chance to show their chops to NFL head coaches. Forget that, out of the more than 60 players invited, less than half a dozen will make the team (including the practice squad). Also, forget that, aside from the Saints six draft picks, media members didn’t know or talk to the majority of the players. Just know that rookie camp is just a big, humid opportunity to ask NFL greenhorns pressing questions. Like, what’s up with the IHOP tatoo? (more…)

In a stunning announcement today, the long anticipated caged death match between the mighty Reverend John “The Hurricane Avenger” Hagee and William Donohue, president of the Catholic League has been cancelled. Hagee, who has long been a thorn in Donohue’s crown for years and has described Donohue’s wrestling syndicate  as the “great whore,” has apologized for his past remarks. Donohue, reached by phone at his secluded, training camp, headquartered in a small country located in Rome, Italy, said he was satisfied with Hagee’s mea culpa.

Wrestling fans aren’t satisfied, however.  One fan, Marc Eagle, clearly expressed his outrage as he attempted to return his tickets for an event that had been billed as bigger than Hulk Hogan versus Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

“Dude, I bought those tickets for me and my son, Goldberg,” Eagle said. “What am I going to tell him? The boy’s a Hagee-A-Maniac.” 

John McCain, a representative for the World Wide Wrestling Religions Association, said he was relieved by Hagee’s apology.

“Wow, is all I can say,” McCain responded. “This was like Batman fighting Robin or something. I’m so glad this is over. Now these guys can get back to doing what they do best: bashing gays.”

B. DALTON BOOKSELLERS, EVERYWHERE, USA— Today, thousands — er, probably tens — of people may have waited in line to receive their copy of James Frey’s newest big fat lie, Bright Shiny Morning — scheduled to be released today. (I don’t really know; I wouldn’t be caught dead in that line.) In an attempt to redeem himself in the eyes of the 30-to-35-year-old male skateboarders and potheads who listed A Million Tiny Pieces — a lame-ass story about drug addiction recovery that he later admitted was bogus — on their myspace profile under their book “interests,” the author has written a new “novel,” using the word “shiny” as a nifty substitute for what us average readers would normally read as Bright “Sunny” Morning.

Poets and Writers magazine reports that “Neither [the agent] nor the publisher wanted the book to be reviewed online months before publication,” according to Frey’s agent. “This strategy is not an embargo,” the director of publicity at HarperCollins told PW. But perhaps it’s a new strategy wherein they’re hoping sheer suspense will compel his handful of devoted fans to buy the book without any information about the plot or context of the novel whatsoever ahead of time. If you care, the book is available online at Amazon.com. It’s apparently so great people already bought and posted several used copies online so others can enjoy Bright Shiny Morning even faster, and cheaper. Janet Maslin even wrote a review of the book for the New York Times in a baby voice so his fans could understand how truly important his bright shining moment really is.

Sometimes New Orleans doesn’t feel as southern as other cities, and I am not speaking in respect to the heat but more in regards to our tea isn’t quite as sweet, or “R”’s don’t drawl and I don’t see Vera Bradley bags on every shoulder of every lady. But this Friday’s event at Canal Place always reminds me of our location in the deep south as patrons of the Sippin’ in Seersucker event are dressed to the “T” in their breathable striped attire.

I personally think that men look like handsome gentleman in seersucker suits but a good friend of mine has been known to tell men that she thinks they look like great big giant babies. Regardless of your feeling on the fabric I recommend checking out this event and dressing the part of the southern lady or gentleman. Fashion coordinated parties are always the most fun. Tickets are $35 and entertainment will be provided by Topsy Chapman’s Tribute to Dinah Washington, The Preservation Hall Hot 4 Jazz Band, and The New Orleans BINGO! Show. This event supports the Ogden Museum and light food and summer cocktails will be served.

The cute Chaiken Clothing dress shown is available online on the Saks website. Guys need a suit? Perlis sells them for $250, and it is an investment that will last you for years (my father just replaced his after 25 years, and it was still in adequate shape). And trust me- most women will think you look great, there is just one girl in town that may approach you and tell you that you look like an infant child.