On Aug. 6, Sen. David Vitter, who is facing a tough reelection fight this fall, sent out an email with the subject line MUD ALERT! — outlining what he said were connections between his Democratic opponent, Rep. Charlie Melancon, and his eleventh-hour Republican opponent, north Louisiana’s Chet Traylor, whom he described as “nothing more than a tool and stalking horse for Charlie Melancon.” But it was a line later in the sixth paragraph of the email that seemed to indicate Vitter thought something was about to drop soon: “Vicious attacks are about to start,” he wrote, “and Charlie Melancon is clearly behind the push.” Elsewhere in the email, Vitter wrote, “And this Melancon led Republican Primary operation will start vicious attacks against me as early as Tuesday.”

Well, it’s Tuesday — and today Melancon released the first TV commercial of the campaign (which will not be running in the New Orleans and Baton Rouge TV markets):

“I’m Charlie Melancon, and I approved this message because David Vitter hasn’t been honest with Louisiana,” it begins. Not nice, perhaps — but “vicious attack”?

Vitter concluded his email with “More details to follow soon.” We’ll see — and we’ll see which camp they come from.

Reporter Jeffrey Kofman’s ABC News report from Buras, La., on July 26 asked “Where did all the crude go?” Agence France-Presse (AFP) followed on July 27, asking “Where is all the oil?” An Associated Press headline that day asked “Gulf Flow Has Stopped, But Where Is the Oil?” By July 29, Time’s Michael Grunwald went even further, penning a story headlined “The BP Spill: Has the Damage Been Exaggerated?,” in which he wrote, “But so far — while it’s important to acknowledge that the long-term potential danger is simply unknowable for an underwater event that took place just three months ago — it does not seem to be inflicting severe environmental damage.”

The media stampede ignored a few salient facts. Coastal parishes last week all reported oil on shore or close to shore, or both. On July 28, the National Resources Defense Council issued a report showing 2,000 beach closings, advisories and notices had been issued in the Gulf region so far this year — compared with 237 in all of 2009. Oil is also blowing through boom, landing along islands off the Mississippi and Louisiana coasts. More ominously, oil is billowing under the water’s surface in large patches — some stretching for miles and sinking rapidly, thanks to BP-applied dispersants. The controversial dispersants break oil apart and send it to the ocean’s floor or into plumes and currents, which can carry the oil thousands of miles from its source.

AFP reported “the real difficulty now is finding any oil to clean up.” National Incident Commander Thad Allen adds, “What we’re trying to figure out is where is all the oil at and what can we do about it.”

If the U.S. Coast Guard and other agencies can’t find it, perhaps they don’t know where to look.

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Last night, WDSU aired part two of Scott Walker’s interview with former BP subcontractor Adam Dillon — a former site coordinator in Grand Isle who wouldn’t let Walker get close to cleanup workers. It’s a story that went viral, and soon other reporters nationwide came forward with similar stories: BP security forces, U.S. Coast Guard threats, cleanup workers and Vessels of Opportunity participants fearing job losses if they speak to the press, and straight-up press refusal.

In this week’s Gambit, I spoke with Walker and several other members of the press about their experiences chronicling the Gulf oil disaster, before Unified Incident Command amended its safety zone rule. Below is the full interview with Walker:

Are you concerned you won’t be able to do your job, if (the zone ruling) stays in place?

It would certainly make it more difficult, if that new rule holds up. On the beach that makes a huge difference — you’re way back on the beach if you can’t get within 65 feet in front of the boom, so you can’t really get up close to see what’s really going on on the other side of that boom. And as far as I know it’s still a public beach, even though the Coast Guard has now come in and said ‘This is a restricted area, you can’t come any closer than this.’ It’s frustrating because we really do a have a right to be there if they don’t have anything to hide. It seems like you should have access unless you’re being destructive in any way, you’re not jeopardizing anybody’s safety, it seems like you should have that access to be able to be there.

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My inbox is constantly filled with the desperate pleas of Nigerian princes and Chinese widows that miss my spam folder, where so many fake bank statements and male enhancement offers go to die. I routinely delete these messages, and the message I received from a Robert Philippe Webb de Orleans with the subject line “URGENT” nearly received the same fate. But a quick glance at this message told me this guy is not some spambot, firing phishy missives from somewhere in Africa: he appears to be a real life crazy person, and he wants to be the king of Louisiana.

Addressed to Mitch Landrieu, Bobby Jindal, James D. “Buddy” Caldwell, Mary Landrieu and David Vittler, the 2,172-word email begins with Webb claiming to be the descendant of royalty, a relative of Robert E. Lee and a member of the Lykes shipping family.

Meet Robert Philippe Webb — your next king.

He advocates seceding from the union, doesn’t like President Obama very much, talks about some conspiracy theories, is sore about the Louisiana Purchase, and would totally let Jindal and crew have jobs under his leadership. Here some of the highlights:

• “President Barrack Obama worries me deeply. He is part of a massive Nazi and Mafia based Eugenics Conspiracy underway in The Federal Government’s intelligence circles.”
• “I am writing to formally express my willingness in this turbulent time to lead The People of New Orleans, Louisiana and The Louisiana Purchase Territory as lawfully installed King of Louisiana. There is no clear leadership in these lands which rightfully belong to me and my Family.”
• ”I would be willing to offer each of you a Title and position in a new government which I propose to lawfully put in place with International United Nations Laws and the support of all The Citizens in my Homeland.”
• “There are many of these violations but in particular I cite The United States Federal Government’s creating The HIV and AIDS Virus in 1970 at Ft. Detrick, Maryland’s Biological Weapons Laboratory.”
• “It is our legal right to bear arms against a Tyrannical and unwanted oppressive Government. I do however advocate my peaceful installation.”

I checked out his website, and apparently he’s an architect? I guess with this oil disaster going on, we all want to do something. While some of us just want to donate hair that may or may not be used for oil booms, or scrub oil-slicked ducks with Dawn soap, or never go to a BP gas station ever, ever again, this guy wants to be king. Just his way of coping. And it’s in his blood.

The entirety of his weirdo email is after the jump.

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Captain Meredith Austin, Coast Guard deputy incident commander, says the seven Vessels of Opportunity (VO) crewmembers (who were rushed to West Jefferson Memorial Hospital yesterday after experiencing nausea, dizziness, headaches and chest pains while performing offshore oil cleanup operations) were not given any respiratory protection.

Austin says air monitoring was performed in the area, and “We were not putting any vessels in an area where no respiratory protection would be needed. They were given protective equipment for hazards they would face — Tyvek suits to protect against oil exposure on skin, steel toed boots, life jackets, gloves, hard hats, safety glasses.”

Who performed the air quality tests?

“I’ll have to get back to you. I’m fairly certain they’re sending the samples out to an accredited lab. I’m not sure who that lab is.”

Austin also does not know if the boats were equipped with air monitoring devices, or if crewmembers had any health evaluations before beginning cleanup.

“Our toxicologists have said it’s possible just by being around petroleum, some individuals are sensitive to it and can give them similar symptoms without a chemical exposure.

“It’s important to keep in mind there are other factors which may be potentially cause these symptoms. These factors range from fatigue, working in hot weather, dehydration, and even the smell of petroleum from the spill may affect some individuals. Not saying this to discount what’s happening to our people, and our hearts and thoughts are with them, but I just want to point out there are other factors that cause those sorts of symptoms.”

Controlled burns and aerial dispersants were used yesterday, but no dispersants were used within 50 miles of the affected crewmen. Other crews are now receiving “wellness briefing” and “situational awareness training.” All vessels working in the area of the affected crewmen — Group One in Breton Sound, consisting of 125 commercial fishing vessels turned oil cleanup crews — were docked and sent to temporary accommodations in Breton Sound. There are now no cleanup crews in the area.

BP and the Coast Guard are performing air sampling, checking food and water, and interviewing crewmembers to find out what caused the symptoms, Austin says.