Writing a prescriptive memoir is a rite of passage for aspiring politicos from Barack Obama to Sarah Palin, and now Gov. Bobby Jindal is joining the publication pack. His book, On Solid Ground: Returning to America’s Core Values, will be published in July.

A publisher’s description indicates it will be part-memoir of Jindal’s growing up in Louisiana and conversion to Christianity, along with a dose of policy-pundit talk. The book is co-written with author Peter Schweizer, author of the 2008 manifesto-mouthful Makers and Takers: Why Conservatives Work Harder, Feel Happier, Have Closer Families, Take Fewer Drugs, Give More Generously, Value Honesty More, Are Less Materialistic and Envious, Whine Less … And Even Hug Their Children More Than Liberals.

Jindal’s memoir will be published by Regnery, a Washington, D.C.-based press that describes itself as the “leading conservative publisher in America,” and has published books by Newt Gingrich, Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter, among others.

Jindal continues to insist he has no aspirations for national office, but the magazine American Prospect once referred to Regnery as the “lifestyle press for conservatives [and] preferred printer of presidential hopefuls,” and the publisher’s description of Jindal’s manuscript says it promises to lay out how Americans can “fundamentally reshape Washington.” Louisiana, meanwhile, goes unmentioned.

There never seems to be a recession in Louisiana political hijinks, as 2009 proved many times over. This was a year of tectonic shifts in the local political paradigm, and the coming year promises to bring more big changes. Herewith, our annual list of the Top 10 Political Stories:

1. Bill Jefferson’s Continued Slide — The former congressman’s misfortunes continued to pile up. He was convicted on 11 of 16 federal felony counts in August after a long-delayed trial in Virginia. Ironically, Jefferson was acquitted of the charge most closely related to the infamous $90,000 in cash that the feds retrieved from his freezer in 2005 — but jurors concluded that his congressional office was an ongoing criminal enterprise under the RICO statute. The trial judge sentenced him to 13 years but let him stay out of jail pending his appeal. In another twist, the U.S. Supreme Court is considering other cases that could overturn some of Jefferson’s convictions. Locally, Dollar Bill’s brother (and political muscle) Mose Jefferson was convicted of bribing a school board member in an unrelated case. Mose and Assessor Betty Jefferson (another Jefferson sibling) face still more federal charges with Mose’s gal pal (and Dollar Bill protégé) Renee Gill-Pratt. Politically, Jefferson’s once-dominant political machine, the Progressive Democrats, is in shambles. The Feb. 6 citywide elections will be the first in three decades in which Dollar Bill is not a factor.

2. The City Hall Scandals — There’s no telling how many separate criminal investigations are underway at City Hall. Former technology chief Greg Meffert was indicted on several dozen criminal counts, along with his wife Linda and former business partner Mark St. Pierre. St. Pierre is the city contractor who paid for the Mefferts and the Nagins to vacation in Hawaii in 2004 and for the Nagins to unwind — first class — in Jamaica shortly after Katrina (while the rest of us were still trying to get back home to New Orleans). On another front, the feds seized various City Hall computers after the mayor’s emails and 2008 calendar mysteriously disappeared (following a WWL-TV request for them under the state Public Records Act). Ironically, tons of City Council emails were produced by the Nagin Administration in response to an unrelated public records request — and some of those emails proved to be cautionary tales against writing things down. More recently, veteran Sewerage and Water Board member Ben Edwards was indicted on 33 counts of corruption, including alleged kickbacks. Edwards spent more than $250,000 “independently” helping Mayor Ray Nagin win re-election in 2006. As the clock winds down on Ray Nagin’s tenure in City Hall, the feds appear to be tightening the circle of suspicion around him.

3. The Mayor’s Race — For a while it seemed that nobody wanted Ray Nagin’s job — then everybody seemed to want it. After a yawner of a preseason, Lt. Gov. Mitch Landrieu lit up the field with his eleventh-hour decision to run. The fallout came quickly as school reformer Leslie Jacobs dropped out a week later. Landrieu, who is making his third bid for the mayor’s office, is once again the early frontrunner. The race for the City Council’s two at-large seats promises to be filled with intrigue as well. Incumbent Arnie Fielkow waited until the last day to qualify, prompting former at-large Councilman Eddie Sapir to jump in. Assessor Darren Mire was another late entry, which seemed to guarantee a scrambled field. Then both Sapir and Mire dropped out on the same day, right before Christmas. State Rep. Austin Badon, who was the first to announce for mayor, was among the first to drop out of that contest, opting instead to run for the council from District E, where he is the early favorite.

4. Suburban Scandals — The feds have been busy all over southeast Louisiana. They indicted and convicted St. John Parish President Bill Hubbard on extortion and money laundering charges, St. Bernard Judge Wayne Cresap on bribery charges, and Mandeville Mayor Eddie Price on tax evasion and depriving citizens of honest services via mail fraud. Meanwhile, FBI agents are looking into Jefferson Parish Chief Administrative Officer Tim Whitmer’s insurance commission-splitting deals in connection with insurance business at West Jefferson General Hospital and among various parish contractors. Some big names are said to be involved, and this could be the beginning of another round of “Jefferson Scandals.” Look for some fireworks to start in the Jefferson Parish scandal before Mardi Gras, my sources say.

5. Ray Nagin’s Unraveling — Could he possibly be more obtuse, more detached, more disengaged — and less effective as a mayor? While in Cuba (on a junket), he praised Castro’s evacuation plans. That came after he failed to convince the City Council to buy the nondescript Chevron Building and make it the new City Hall. Earlier in the year, he thumbed his nose at the courts and the state Public Records Act when his calendar and emails somehow disappeared. When an outside contractor said that the emails were deleted deliberately by someone who knew what they where doing, he fired the contractor. Meanwhile, a growing list of people who once were close to him are under federal indictment. Here’s the good news: he’ll be gone in 18 weeks.

6. Bobby Jindal’s Minus Touch — The Boy Governor started 2009 as the Wunderkind of the national GOP. Then came his disastrous response to Barack Obama’s first national address and his failure to show any coattails in three separate special elections — including a bid by his former executive counsel for the state Supreme Court in northeast Louisiana (which is supposed to be a Jindal stronghold). As he continues to raise millions nationally for his campaign war chest, the state faces major budget problems.

7. State and City Budget Woes — Bobby Jindal told a state cost-cutting commission to “be bold” in their recommendations. Gee, wasn’t that what we elected him to do as governor? Lawmakers anguished over cutting about $1 billion in operating funds this year, but it only gets worse in the next two years. Locally, Mayor Ray Nagin announced a $68 million deficit, then took a taxpayer-paid trip to Mexico to sign a feel-good sister city agreement. When the City Council revised his proposed budget, Hizzoner retaliated by slashing key services — and then blamed it all on the council. Plus ça change.

8. David Vitter’s Run-up to 2010 — The Biggest Hypocrite in America remains an early favorite to win back his U.S. Senate seat, but not without a fight. He initially drew a potential rival in porn star Stormy Daniels of Baton Rouge, but now he will have a real opponent in Democratic Congressman Charlie Melancon. Vitter continues to poll below 50 percent but remains 10 points or more above his main opponents. His infamous bad temper flared up again during an incident at Reagan National Airport when he tried to board a plane late, and all the national attention he’s gets every time there’s another sex scandal anywhere sure makes Louisiana (if not Vitter himself) look bad. Not that he cares.

9. The Saints Deal — For the first time since the state started subsidizing the city’s NFL franchise in 1985, a deal to keep the beloved Saints in New Orleans did not tear the Legislature apart and cost the city valuable political capital. Maybe it’s because Gov. Bobby Jindal also wanted lawmakers to approve $50 million to bail out a north Louisiana chicken processing plant. South Louisiana leges immediately said, “Deal!” Cluck, cluck! Go Saints!

10. The City’s New Master Plan — Like everything else worthwhile that happens here, the city’s new master plan has endured a rough birthing process, but the end results will hopefully be worth it. Don’t let the fact that I’ve listed this as No. 10 fool you. This will be a very important story for decades if we get it right.

A final note: I left former Recovery Chief Ed Blakely off my list of most important political stories. That’s because, even when he was here, Blakely was largely irrelevant. His ridiculous, self-serving comments after his departure proved that.

Here’s hoping 2010 brings better news.

While you’re waiting for President Barack Obama to arrive (Air Force One touches down at MSY at 11:20, unless he pulls a switcheroo and comes in on JetBlue), here’s some background reading…

• The New York Times and The Washington Post both report on the duration of the visit and the contretemps over whether it’s long enough….

• Rep. Anh “Joseph” Cao is still disappointed in Gov. Bobby Jindal for not getting in on the funding for the proposed high-speed rail line between here and Baton Rouge….

• On the HuffPo, Harry Shearer examines Obama’s to-do list, and weighs in on what’s been checked off and what’s overdue….

• Michael Bauer of the San Francisco Chronicle interviews Leah Chase, who will be packing up a takeout lunch for the president today. (Hail to the chef!) Then the topic of another president arose:

In another photo, President George W. Bush was seated at a table with other dignitaries, and he was grasping her hand as she posed behind him.

At the end of the meal I asked about Obama and her eyes took on a joyous sheen as she practically sang his praises in her deep, rich voice.

I couldn’t resist: “So you seem to be an equal opportunity cook,” I said, as I drew attention to the other President. Her twinkle shifted a bit.

“He’s a lovely man,” she said. “He’s invited me to the White House twice and he’s such a gentleman.” After a short pause she said: “However some men just find themselves in the wrong job.”

That ought to keep you occupied. Meanwhile, Clancy DuBos will be on CNN at some point this morning, and we have reporters at both the UNO town hall and the Crescent City Recovery protest on the river. We’ll also be Twittering Obama’s speech, as well as all the bloviating from the punditocracy. Later.

MEET THE CANDIDATE

With a profile that’s been more private than public lately, Congressman Charlie Melancon is campaigning to be your next U.S. senator

By JEREMY ALFORD

Charlie Melancon may be the first major political candidate from Louisiana to announce a bid for office from his own dining room table. That all of his supporters, the state’s media and other political onlookers were able to fit into his charming Napoleonville home was even more remarkable. But that, as they say, is the magic of the Internet.

Last week, Melancon told the world he would challenge U.S. Sen. David Vitter by email. The message, though, also provided a link to a YouTube video posted on his campaign’s site.

Click. (Cue piano) “Hello. My name is Charlie Melancon. I’m a businessman, who’s been an ambassador for our state’s sugar industry and I’ve owned and run several successful businesses. I’m a proud family man, the father of two great children, and Peachy and I celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary just last week.”

Peachy didn’t enter the frame with a tray of fried catfish or Natchitoches meat pies, but it would have been a nice touch. The video, however, does play into the image of detached U.S. congressman who’s ducking town hall meetings, a portrayal that’s been floated by Melancon’s conservative opposition and anyone else generally paying attention.

In comparison, Sen. David Vitter, the Republican from Metairie that Melancon will face on the fall 2010 ballot, is in the trenches and holding town hall meetings – and, more importantly, answering, although most times indirectly, questions about his connection to a Beltway-based prostitution ring that was run by a madam who killed herself last year….

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• The Baton Rouge Advocate comes out swinging in an editorial about Gov. Bobby Jindal’s much-vaunted transparency:

Gov. Bobby Jindal has gone on record opposing President Barack Obama’s health-care plan because it isn’t transparent enough.

We’re all for transparency, but we were surprised to see the governor criticizing someone else for not practicing it.

Perhaps we shouldn’t have been surprised. This is a governor, after all, who has favored one standard of transparency for members of the Legislature and other public officials, but another, more secretive standard for himself….

This is clearly a governor whose guiding philosophy is “Do as I say, not as I do.”

• The Hill reports the White House is leaning on Rep. Anh “Joseph” Cao:

Rep. Joseph Cao voted against the economic stimulus measure, climate change legislation and President Barack Obama’s budget, but that hasn’t stopped the White House from trying to get his vote on healthcare reform.

The vulnerable GOP Louisiana lawmaker told The Hill that the White House legislative liaison assigned to lean on Cao, Jim Papa, recently contacted his office. But Cao says the White House will have to wait because he is still reading the bill, which is over 1,000 pages long….

• Was Kanye West behind the Reggie Bush/Kim Kardashian split?…

• Roger Wilson, the New Orleans actor who starred in the first two Porky’s movies and was also famous for dating model Christy Turlington, has been working as a bartender for a while, according to the New York Post’s Page Six…

• Looks like the Dollar Bill jurors will be ending their second day of deliberations with no verdicts. Court reconvenes on Monday.

• The Smoking Gun has now obtained the police report of Stormy Daniels‘ arrest, complete with mugshot:

In a setback to her nascent U.S. Senate campaign, porn star Stormy Daniels (real name: Stephanie Clifford) was arrested Saturday afternoon for domestic violence after she allegedly battered her husband because she was “upset because the way the laundry had been done.”

• OMG U GUYZ MARY LNDRU IS COSPNSRING A BILL 2 MAKE IT ILLEGAL TO TXT WHILE DRIVING …

• As Gov. Bobby Jindal hits the fundraising trail again (hello, Destin, Fla.!), The Old River Road blog updates its “Where’s Bobby?” map …

• That ginormous beehive in the French Quarter? Score bees 1, beekeepers and reporters 0 …

• 2009 Krewe of Orpheus rider Joan Rivers has a new cable show, How’d You Get So Rich?, and some of the first episodes will feature Blaine Kern, Ronnie Lamarque, and the guy who invented Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. She was plugging the show at the annual Television Critics’ summer press tour when she dropped this nugget:

Meanwhile, Joan Rivers hopes Leno bombs at 10.

Rivers showed up at the tour to pitch her new TV Land show, “How’d You Get So Rich?” But naturally some critic asked her what she thought of the whole Leno/O’Brien switcheroo.

In case you’ve been living under a flat rock, Rivers had been the permanent “Tonight Show” guest host for years in the ’80s, but left to go to Fox when she learned she was not on the short list to replace Johnny Carson as permanent “Tonight” host. Leno got that gig.

“I think it’s brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m., because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier,” Rivers snarked.

• … and, after three hours of judges’ instructions, the federal jury in Alexandria, Va. is finally settling in to decide the fate of former Rep. William Jefferson. We asked Clancy DuBos for the over-under on Jefferson’s prospects, and he said this in an email:

Not less than 4 hours, in my opinion, because I think it will be a compromise verdict…I think he will be convicted on at least 4 to 6 counts, and hung or acquitted on the rest. A conviction on even one is devastating.

• Gov. Bobby Jindal continues his media tour to denounce “Obamacare,” with an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal, a folksy piece at Politico, and an appearance with Sean Hannity on Fox News, who asked Jindal: “So my question to you is on a scale of 1 to 10, how devastating is what Barack Obama has done to the economy?”

• Outrage du jour: Dr. Regina Benjamin, Obama’s surgeon-general designate (and a grad of Xavier and Tulane) isn’t a size 2. Or, as Neil Cavuto said while introducing a discussion of this vital topic:

Brilliant, dedicated, experienced and, oh yeah, fat. The President’s pick for Surgeon General is fat. Not a lot fat, but enough fat for my next guest to say fat chance for Dr. Regina Benjamin to even be considered.

The word “fathead” comes to mind, and we’re not talking about Dr. Benjamin.

• Arianna Huffington once again explains why paying the bloggers who write for her is just not part of her business model, darling. Or, rather, her spokesman explains; Satan’s Botoxed Handmaiden is off on a cruise.

• The Atlantic has a reverential profile of local developer Sean Cummings. Local blogger WetBankGuy calls it a “glowing in-flight magazine puff piece.” Ouch.

• That horrible story about the NOPD police dog that died in the car is joined by one where a couple left their terrier to die … while its owner’s girlfriend auditioned for American Idol.

• St. Aug has a lovely tribute on its Web site to its late band director, Edwin Hampton, who died yesterday.

Because nothing says fiscal responsibility like a giant prop check. Story here.

• Gov. Bobby Jindal reemerges on the national stage and rejoins the chattering class on cable news and the op-ed pages to discuss health care:

“Governor Jindal has seen enough,” said Curt Anderson, a consultant for Jindal. “As a health-care policy expert, he strongly believes that the House Democrat[ic] plan would be a disaster for the long-term health of the American people, and the long-term health of the economy.”

• Rolling Stone writes up the Lincoln Center Ponderosa Stomp … which featured Wardell Quezergue performing a tribute to Morgus the Magnificent and no doubt mystifying the Manhattanites.

• The Associated Press pens a valentine to Miss Chris Owens.

• August J. Pollak has the best editorial cartoon about Walter Cronkite’s passing.

• Nice: Grandpa and grandson travel from Monroe to New Orleans in a pirogue they made themselves. Learn why here.

Lt. Gov. Mitch Landrieu’s announcement last week that he will not run for mayor of New Orleans was not a huge surprise, but it still had a bombshell’s impact on the race. Had Landrieu decided to run, he would have been the frontrunner with a virtual lock on a runoff spot, leaving the other candidates to fight over the second runoff berth.

Now it’s a wide-open race with no clear frontrunner. Qualifying is Dec. 9-11 — less than five months away. The primary will be Feb. 6, 2010, with a March 6 runoff.

Time is short, but until last week, all other potential candidates were sitting on their hands waiting for Landrieu to opt in or out. Now the games can begin.

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