Just one of those things to add the the “once you see it, you can’t unsee it” pile:

(via Michael G.’s Twitter)

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Photograph by Greg Rhoades

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There are lowlifes and there are lowlife scum-of-the-earth piss buckets that don’t give a second thought to stealing a man’s instrument. And not just any man, mind you, or any instrument. Uncle Lionel Batiste, among the eldest of the elder statesmen of New Orleans jazz musicians, had his bass drum stolen (this, one and only hand-made bass drum) after marching with the Treme Brass Band in Krewe de Vieux.

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The man is 79 years old. He made the drum himself and used it not only to preserve the New Orleans sound of music, but to teach and mentor countless musicians under him. Unc is a city treasure and his drum is an artifact. Whoever stole that drum is either very ignorant or very hateful, but either way, they must be found, caught and made to pay.

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You do not steal a man’s drum. Especially if he’s still alive and beating it. Anyone who sees it - on the street, on eBay or wherever - that drum is stolen goods. Let’s get it back into the right hands and back into the groove.

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Picture lifted from WWL.com

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Just when you thought this whole Saints mania was bringing nothing but positive energy and news to the Crescent City, someone had to go and ruin it all. It turns out that someone in New Orleans is yelling “Go Saints!” and when people respond with a “Yea! Who Dat!” he pulls out a gun and robs the Who Dats. I’m not sure what’s more depressing, this story or the police sketch on the WWL Web site (above).

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No, I know: that Deadspin has already picked up this story. Yea, that’s the most depressing part.

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In all seriousness, though, we hope all Who Dats out there have a merry and safe Christmas and holiday season. Oh, and let’s see if we can’t bring this scumbag to justice now, eh?

If you were startled to see the 14-year-old murder suspect’s name published in today’s The Times-Picayune, surrounding the murder of United Cab Co. driver Mahyar Kasravi, you weren’t alone. On the night of Dec. 8, Kasravi, 59, was shot and killed during an apparent botched robbery. Quintina Tolbert, 23, and two teenage boys have been arrested in the case.

“I was really shocked to see The Times-Picayune come out with a juvenile’s name like that,” New Orleans Police Department spokesman Bob Young says, adding that NOPD cannot legally release the names of juvenile suspects unless they are charged as adults by the district attorney’s office. In this case, the suspect has been arrested and is currently being held in the juvenile facility, but has not yet been charged.

Ramon Antonio Vargas, the TP staff writer who reported the story, says he obtained the suspect’s name during a public hearing in juvenile court, where Judge David Bell found there was probable cause to arrest all three suspects.

“If it’s in an open hearing and they’re identified there,” Vargas says, “then we do run the names.” Although that is the paper’s policy, it’s not a decision the TP takes lightly. Before the story ran, Vargas says he discussed the issue with Jim Amoss, the TP editor. According to the Louisiana Children’s Code, juvenile court proceedings are open to the public when it involves a violent crime.

Eden Heilman, a staff attorney with the Southern Poverty Law Center who has represented a number of juvenile defendants, says it is legal to publish the names of juvenile suspects. She also says, however, that juvenile court proceedings are supposed to be sealed and sentences are geared towards rehabilitating suspects as opposed to punishing them. If this particular suspect’s case remains in juvenile court, then Heilman feels publishing the boy’s name is a problem.

“He now has a very public label on his back,” Heilman says.

As for NOPD’s “shock,” at the TP’s publishing the name, Vargas is surprised by that reaction.
“I don’t know why,” Vargas says. “It’s not the first time we’ve identified a juvenile murder suspect.”

So what do you think? Should the local media identify juvenile suspects that are accused of violent crimes? Does it matter if the suspect is charged in juvenile court or adult court?

In her campaign commercials Leslie Jacobs promised that as mayor she would solve the city’s crime problem by firing Police Chief Warren Riley and replacing him with someone who could get the job done. She also vowed to continue working to better the school system and generally make New Orleans a better place to live.

Now, however, she is withdrawing from the race for the city’s chief executive for a very pragmatic reason: she is convinced she can’t win.

The education reformer, former Orleans Parish School Board and BESE member issued this statement:

“I decided to run for mayor because I care passionately for this city and truly believe New Orleans is at a tipping point: Are we going to continue to struggle or become a vibrant city offering a better quality of life and more opportunities for all of our citizens?

“While I believe that I would be a great mayor for the City of New Orleans, after much consideration and thoughtful analysis of the final field of candidates, I have determined I cannot win this election.

“I will be filing the papers to remove my name from the ballot. While no longer a candidate for mayor, I remain committed to working for the betterment of New Orleans and the region.

“I cannot express the extent of my gratitude to those who have opened their homes, invested their funds, and volunteered their time to help my campaign. I reiterate how deeply honored and appreciative I am of your enthusiasm and support.”

GRRRRRR!!!! That was last week’s dog-training segment from the surprise A&E hit show Steven Seagal Lawman, which in two weeks has already earned a place on the Web site Best Week Ever:

The COPS-style live action sequences remained borderline lame; one segment involved the cops rushing to the scene of a burglary, surrounding the house, and Seagal explaining every possible point of entry and escape, before eventually realizing that the burglar had already left the house (spoiler).

That’s the sort of snark Dave Walker of The Times-Picayune was talking about in his column this morning, in which he interviews(!) Steven(!!) Seagal(!!!):

Some — much? almost all? — of the tune-in could be folks goofing on the premise and its execution. My initial reaction to the series — shock at how many of the citizens Seagal and his team encounter are armed — remains. Most of the snarky commenters wouldn’t do what Seagal does. I wouldn’t.

True. Most people wouldn’t drive around Martin Behrman Highway, confronting armed punks. But most people also wouldn’t make a career as professional fertility freaks and child-exploiters, either, and yet: welcome to 2009. It’s TV, folks.

Anyway, here’s some photos of the Lawman party Gambit had last week at Theo’s Pizza in Mid-City. About 50-60 Gambiteers showed up to eat, drink, answer trivia questions for Seagal swag, and enjoy the Lawman’s benefit performance of his original song, “Alligator Ass.”

Tonight’s episodes? 9 pm: “Firearms of Fury”; 9:30 pm: “The Student Becomes the Master.” Photos of last week’s party below the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

New Orleans mayoral candidate Thomas “200 Criminals” (I’m also thinking “Not in My House”) Lambert offered possibly the most quotable campaign phrase during last night’s debate. Moderator Norman Robinson pitches the question and Lambert knocks it out of the park.

Robinson: “One of tonight’s sponsors, the National Coalition of 100 Black Women, posed this next question, and it’s for Mr. Lambert. What do you envision, Mr. Lambert, doing with Charity Hospital?”

(pause)

Lambert: “Honestly, Norm, I don’t have an answer for that. But I would like to say I never got a chance to talk about crime. I’d like to say a little about crime. I’ve heard many police spokespersons come out and say there’s only about 200 criminals in this city that’s got their hands around the neck of New Orleans. I’m hear to tell you, 200 criminals aren’t very many. I don’t know where they are, but I know where they’re not. They’re not in my house. Are they in your house? I don’t think so. People need to be accountable, we need to turn this out… Once again, 200 criminals… I’m telling you what the police department has said many times. 200 criminals control this city. And it’s so foolish for anybody to say and they not get their hands around it. My administration will get their hands around the 200 criminals that’s holding this city hostage.”

Blog commenter Sr. Luncheon suggests Lambert get that “not in my house” bit printed on a New Orleans Saints shirt. I think it would look better on a Big Dog tee.

Not content with offering bottles of wine for $10 at our Steven Seagal Lawman viewing party tonight, our friends at Theo’s Pizza have arranged for a very special vintage to be served in honor of Jeff Parish’s top Zen-Taser Lawman: the Napa Valley cabernet known as the Ball Buster.

Check out what this review had to say about it:

The Ball Buster blend has been an annual Best Buy and, even at the current asking price, the 2007 The Ball Buster is an awesome value (at least for hedonists). It is composed of 72% Shiraz, 17% Cabernet Sauvignon, and 11% Merlot aged for 12 months in seasoned French and American oak. Opaque purple-colored, it has a nose of cedar, leather, spice box, and blueberry that leaps from the glass. This is followed by a plush, full-bodied wine with gobs of flavor and superior length.

And we’re all about superior length at Gambit. What about you, punk? You comin’ out tonight to our viewing party and trivia contest, where we’ll be giving away excellent Seagal-swag?

WHERE: Theo’s Pizza Mid-City (4024 Canal at Carrollton)
WHEN: Wed., Dec. 9, 8:30-10 pm (show starts at 9 pm)
DETAILS: You pay for your own pizza and beer, punk.

See you there. If you’re man (or woman) enough.

If there’s any doubt remaining that last week’s debut of Steven Seagal Lawman was not the advent of “The Finest Program in the History of American Television™!” (—Gambit), consider this review of the show by Aaron Fleming:

Such is the dank Louisiana cityscape prior to the arrival of Steven Seagal. His very presence erases the bad, the sordid, the lustful nightmare dynamic of pent-up, foil-lipped libidinal excess that’s spewing out over curb-stones and old grannies nightly. Seagal quells the mad rush of Tiamatian lunacy and unbounded eroticism. “The jecks” knew no limits before Seagal arrived to introduce a generous dose of civilisation. The panoptic eye gazes out from a gap in Seagal’s lower thigh.

Episode two of Steven Seagal: Lawman documents Seagal’s infinite hunger for justice, his undying determination to rid the streets of negative energy and mediocre “Zen practitioners”. The mission will demand all of Seagal’s powers. He will be forced to summon countless titbits of wisdom, applying knowledge to situations of dire import.

Certainty is rarely possessed by the hero. Its fleeting presence eludes the grasp of so many. Yet Seagal clenches certainty in all its plenitude, trapping its divinity in a single fist.

Do you need a cigarette after that? Or maybe just a slice of pizza. We can help you with the second one.

Face it, watching some West Bank punk get his ass handed to him on Martin Behrman Highway by the star of Today You Die is best experienced in a group. With hallucinogenics beer. That’s why Gambit is hosting a viewing party for this week’s installment of Lawman, and you’re invited.

WHERE: Theo’s Pizza Mid-City (4024 Canal at Carrollton)
WHEN: Wed., Dec. 9, 8:30-10 pm (show starts at 9 pm)
DETAILS: You pay for your own pizza and beer, punk. (Theo’s will have a $10 bottled wine special.)

A&E has sent along some Seagal-worthy swag to give away (click for merch pix), and we’ll have a Seagal-esque trivia contest for additional prizes, including these two DVDs picked up last weekend from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences a going-out-of-business Blockbuster on Metairie Road:

So: Wednesday night. Theo’s. We’ll be in the back. See you there. Punk.

Unless you’re a complete punk and a lousy dirtbag, you’ve heard about Gambit’s viewing party for the next episode of A&E’s new hit show Steven Seagal Lawman (”The Finest Program in the History of American Television™” — Gambit).

Our party is this Wednesday, Dec. 9, 8:30-10 pm at Theo’s Pizza in Mid-City (full details here), and you’re invited to help us watch this week’s episodes, “Killer Canines” and “Too Young to Die.”

The A&E network heard about the party from our Twitter feed (!) and sent along a box of Seagal swag (Swag-al?), which we will be giving away to three lucky attendees. Are you feeling lucky? Here it is:

1) The handsome Steven Seagal: Lawman flak vest in extra-extra-small. Your infant will be the baddest-ass baby on the block in this handsome number. Adjustable Velcro straps make it perfect for the little one whose weight occasionally fluctuates (like some movie stars we could name).

2) A two-DVD set featuring your own copies of the first two episodes of Steven Seagal: Lawman, along with hi-res stills from the show perfect for making desktop computer wallpaper.

3) And - last but certainly not least - an actual AUTOGRAPHED PHOTO of Steven Seagal, written in Sharpie by the star’s very own Zen master hand and beyond suitable for framing.

So: meet us at Theo’s this Wednesday night and see if you’re the lucky punk to take home some of this one-of-a-kind merch. Just be ready to take a drink every time Steven Seagal Lawman uses the words “martial arts.”