If you want to control New Orleans, sooner or later you have to cut a deal with pirates. John Georges was photographed by the New York Times while meeting with a representative from the Krewe of Wenches. Argghhhh! The accompanying story, however, was mostly about the people not running, or even close to running, such as Brad Pitt.

• SAINTS SAINTS SAINTS: WWL-TV’s Bradley Handwerger takes a look at what the national media are saying about the 6-0 New Orleans Saints.

• BAD LIEUTENANT…GOOD MOVIE?: CinemaBlend reviews Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, which recently screened at the New Orleans Film Festival:

Though the New Orleans film community is rapidly growing, the crowd at the screening seemed uniformly bemused at Cage’s balls-to-the-wall performance, and appreciative that the movie managed to capture New Orleans as a mysterious, colorful, violent place… without a single shot in the French Quarter. There were no shadowy saloons, no gaudy voodoo queens—Cage is the burlesque here. The audience proudly bore witness to how each element of their town—its locations, its actors, its own myth—were used to bring out his performance, all too happy to provide the scenery for him to chew on.

Elsewhere, CinemaBlend shoots down rumors that the movie is going straight to DVD; it’ll have a “limited release” before coming to your TV in Feb. 2010.

• PUT ANOTHER CANDLE ON THE SLOT MACHINE: Harrah’s New Orleans turns 10.

• ALL BARK: The Canadian Press looks at the controversy over street barkers in the French Quarter:

On Tuesday night Ashley Roy, a 19-year-old college student dressed in shorts and a snug sweater, stood mindfully on the threshold of Jester Mardi Gras Daiquiris hawking a tray of shots with names like “Buck You Up,” and “Sex on the Beach.”

“The cops said I can’t sell shots on the street anymore,” Roy said. “I don’t know why. But it hasn’t really hurt my business. A lot of guys still come over and buy.”

(”Buck” You Up?)

• ANNE OF PALM SPRINGS: Former New Orleanian Anne Rice talks to Good Morning America about her latest book, and why she hasn’t been back to NOLA since Hurricane Katrina.

• AND FINALLY: There’s some sort of kerfuffle in Chicago over Mike Ditka and whether or not he endorsed a GOP Senate candidate. Not that we care, but buried in the kerfuffle was this nugget:

Ditka doesn’t buy that junk. He was a major Sarah Palin supporter during her run with presidential candidate John McCain in 2008.

Palin/Ditka 2012! Who’s with me?!?!

• six and oh: six and oh six and oh six and oh ….

• POW!: Rep. Charlie Melancon, way behind in the polls for the 2010 Senate race, comes out swinging against Sen. David Vitter:

If a company wants to receive taxpayer dollars, they should not be able to force victims to give up their constitutional rights as a condition of employment.

David Vitter has refused to explain why he voted to allow taxpayer-funded companies to sweep rape charges under the rug. We can only guess what his reasons were.

Vitter punches back:

If Charlie Melancon is truly ’shocked’ that David Vitter would vote against this amendment, one can only imagine his thoughts on President Obama and Obama’s Department of Defense having the exact same position on this amendment as the Republicans - which they do.

• OUR MAN IN HAVANA: More blowback on C. Ray in C.U.B.A.

• THE NEW K-VILLE?: NBC is developing a new show set (but not shot?) in New Orleans:

“Nola,” from writer Diane Ademu-John (”Medium”), revolves around a down-on-his-luck private investigator and a charismatic ex-con capable of being inhabited by ghosts who become unlikely partners to help solve the problems of New Orleans citizens, living or dead.

Yeah, well, good luck with that.

• MEDIA AT WORK: The CNN crew stinks on ice when it comes to Celebrity Jeopardy!; top anchors Wolf Blitzer and Soledad O’Brien managed to lose to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and one of the Desperate Housewives. (Blitzer’s final total: $-4,600.)

A CNN flack explains

:

“They are reporters, not trivia experts. And the buzzer is complicated.”

Have a nice day.

• TROUBLE: Lil Wayne pleads guilty to felony gun possession, may be spending a year in the pokey….

• HOLLYWOOD SOUTH: Production on the new Green Lantern movie moves to New Orleans….

• SPEAKING OF MOVIES: New Orleans-raised writer/actor Byron Lane will see his debut film premiere at the Austin Film Festival this weekend. Title? Herpes Boy….

• POOR POOR PITIFUL US: Sportswriter Rick Gosselin of the Dallas News writes about his trip to New Orleans for the Saints game last weekend:

Four years after Katrina, New Orleans still isn’t back. Not even close. The population has been cut almost in half from the 500,000 before the hurricane, and a city that survives on tourism is struggling to attract the major conventions that once flocked to New Orleans.

I’ve had some nightmare travel days in New Orleans returning to Dallas from games in the pre-Katrina years, showing up at Louis Armstrong International Airport two hours before my flight on Monday mornings and then having to scramble through lengthy security lines to board my plane on time.

But at the airport at 8 a.m. Monday, there was no one at the ticket counter ahead of me and only one person ahead of me in the security line. You could have rolled a bowling ball down the center of Terminal C and not struck anyone.

• UH…THANKS (WE THINK): Walt Pierce, editor of The Independent in Lafayette, sends up a salute from Cajun country:

We envy newspapers like The Times-Picayune and Gambit Weekly. New Orleans has corruption in its government institutions — widespread, endemic, congenital corruption; cancerous corruption that no chemical can ameliorate. It cannot be zapped by microwaves. New Orleans has bribes and kickbacks, back stabbing and malfeasance — all the colorful enumerations of bad, selfish, greedy behavior by which Louisiana’s political reputation is calculated. That malaise is apparently spreading with the city’s white flight: Mandeville’s recently former mayor pleaded guilty a week and a half ago to federal tax evasion and mail fraud charges. Now that’s working for the people (in the press).

• AND FINALLY: In a blogpost titled “Yet Another Sign Hoda Kotb Is Going to Snap,” Gawker offers a clip of the Today show, in which Kathie Lee Gifford lectures Hoda about, of all things, her Hula Hoop skills. (”Just tell me one more thing I’m doing wrong,” Hoda sighs.) Gawker adds:

You know what I’m waiting for? The day Hoda (Peabody Award winner, Edward R. Murrow Award winner) just walks right off the set.

Us too.

• 5-0: Say what? Say it again. 5 and 0. ESPN weighs in: “Why the Saints Are Best in the NFL Right Now.”

• THUMBS UP FROM HOUMA: Houma Today apprises President Barack Obama’s visit to Louisiana last Thursday and concludes “What President Barack Obama’s visit last week to New Orleans lacked in length it more than made up for in substance.”

• THUMBS DOWN FROM OPELOUSAS: The Opelousas Daily World is not as impressed: “We understand the demands on a president’s time, especially this president, who seems determined to throw every pressing, complicated national issue onto one big pile and tackle them all at once. Maybe we could catch the president’s attention — or at least the attention of Vice President Joe Biden — if we let it slip that in one lifetime, Louisiana has lost coastal land equal in area to Delaware, Biden’s home state.”

• NOT SORRY: That justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish? Totally not sorry, would do it again.

• CHANGES AT ANTOINE’S: ABC News reports on how Antoine’s is adapting to the 21st century…sorta.

• PLAYING THE KID CARD: The lawyer for the balloon boy’s dad says arresting his client in public would be “child abuse.” (Just tell him that perp walk = “ultimate reality TV”!)

• AND FINALLY: 5-0!: To commemorate the occasion, why not read Esquire’s interview with Saintsation Ashley Falgout?:

ESQ: Looking at the rest of the schedule, only the Falcons, Patriots, and Cowboys have winning records. Can anyone stop you guys?

AF: A lot of people say the Patriots and Cowboys, but I know we are going to blow them away, so I don’t feel threatened. The fans have a lot to do with it — their energy gets the players pumped up and hitting hard and being successful, and it goes full circle. The Cowboys game isn’t until December, and every one of my friends has claimed my two tickets. They’re fighting for them. I’m like, “Come on, y’all.” I’m putting everyone’s name in a hat.

ESQ: You can put ours in. Anything we’ve forgotten to cover here?

AF: Did I mention we’re gonna win the Super Bowl? Did I say that already? I think that’s it.

Have a good Monday.

While you’re waiting for President Barack Obama to arrive (Air Force One touches down at MSY at 11:20, unless he pulls a switcheroo and comes in on JetBlue), here’s some background reading…

• The New York Times and The Washington Post both report on the duration of the visit and the contretemps over whether it’s long enough….

• Rep. Anh “Joseph” Cao is still disappointed in Gov. Bobby Jindal for not getting in on the funding for the proposed high-speed rail line between here and Baton Rouge….

• On the HuffPo, Harry Shearer examines Obama’s to-do list, and weighs in on what’s been checked off and what’s overdue….

• Michael Bauer of the San Francisco Chronicle interviews Leah Chase, who will be packing up a takeout lunch for the president today. (Hail to the chef!) Then the topic of another president arose:

In another photo, President George W. Bush was seated at a table with other dignitaries, and he was grasping her hand as she posed behind him.

At the end of the meal I asked about Obama and her eyes took on a joyous sheen as she practically sang his praises in her deep, rich voice.

I couldn’t resist: “So you seem to be an equal opportunity cook,” I said, as I drew attention to the other President. Her twinkle shifted a bit.

“He’s a lovely man,” she said. “He’s invited me to the White House twice and he’s such a gentleman.” After a short pause she said: “However some men just find themselves in the wrong job.”

That ought to keep you occupied. Meanwhile, Clancy DuBos will be on CNN at some point this morning, and we have reporters at both the UNO town hall and the Crescent City Recovery protest on the river. We’ll also be Twittering Obama’s speech, as well as all the bloviating from the punditocracy. Later.

• WET: We’re still drying out in Mid-City after last night’s mess.

• WETLANDS: More blowback about President Barack Obama’s Thursday visit to New Orleans, which will not include a tour of the coast, an inspection of the levees or a trip to the pumping stations. Read Mark Ford:

Without a strong and meaningful financial commitment from Washington, there can be no sustainable Louisiana coast. Promises mean little. Appropriations speak volumes. President Johnson promised a comprehensive protection system for New Orleans after Hurricane Betsy in 1965. That system is still not complete. President Bush promised money and aid for recovery after Hurricane Katrina in 2005, but fell short on following through. Now President Obama has a chance to make a meaningful commitment to the coast, but is only focusing on New Orleans for this visit….

Efforts by the White House to help New Orleans recover are great, so far. But our coast is much more than just one city and not enough is being done for coastal restoration. Experts agree that the coast will never resemble its former landscape. Some of it will be lost forever. But, it is still possible to restore some of it to a sustainable form of this dynamic and ever changing landscape. Citizens will get the opportunity to raise these issues, to the President, Thursday in New Orleans.

• WIT: Michael Bauer, the San Francisco Chronicle’s excellent food critic, was in New Orleans last week for the Association of Food Journalists conference, and gathered some great quotes for his blog:

At one panel, Donald Link of the still wonderful Herbsaint, Cochon and now Cochon Butcher, talked about why he was one of the first restaurants to re-open after the storm, at a time when there were very few people in the city: “Inside those walls, it was like normal life. When you went outside it was crap.”

Frank Brigtsen of Brigtsen’s restaurant shared his roast turkey and gravy, and explained the importance of roux in cooking: “Each color stage has a different aroma and a different texture.” He also admitted: “My favorite sauce in the world is gravy.”

The funniest line came from a waiter at [Dooky Chase] restaurant when Amanda Gold ordered an Arnold Palmer (half lemonade and half iced tea) to go with her fried chicken: “Around here we call it a Tiger Woods.”

• SOME DUDE WINS NOBEL PEACE PRIZE: … and that’s all we’re going to hear about all day. Editor & Publisher runs down some national press reactions, while Cagle gets the reax from editorial cartoonists. At the blog Hurricane Radio, Cousin Pat from Georgia calls it “Premature eNOBELation”:

Uhhh, what?

I’m as big a fan of President Barack Obama as the next center-left Southern Democrat, but the Nobel Peace Prize? Already?

That’s taking things a little far.

• SPEAKING OF …: Our newest Nobel Prize winner is gonna be visiting New Orleans next Thursday for the first time since his election. The itinerary is still being written, but Sen. David Vitter already disapproves. (What we’re hearing? The stop is going to be brief. Very brief.) Local blogger Liprap has some food for thought:

As it is, next week the president is visiting New Orleans for the first time since his campaign …and he still needs to give us something more than the audacity of hope in this forgotten corner of Louisiana that overwhelmingly elected him to office. Just because we are located in a red state doesn’t mean we have to go to the same hell our state legislators seem to want to drag us to.

I’ve had a few reasons thrown out to me concerning why it’s taken nearly a year after the election for Obama to come here, among them the embarrassment that is Hizzoner the Walking Id and the many federal investigations into local government corruption that are going on. I mean, who wants to be associating themselves with that and giving legitimacy to incompetents?

Granted, I think a national recession and health care reform have been taking up the lion’s share of Obama’s time these days…but if those reasons I’ve cited above have been a major consideration in the timing of this visit, then all I can say is: if the president can be so courageous abroad and be recognized for it without being associated completely with the people he is trying to reach out to, he can certainly do the same thing here in New Orleans.

• ADVICE COLUMN: Over at Bayou Buzz, talk show host and political pundit Jeff Crouere has some advice for African-Americans, who may be surprised to learn from Crouere that Barack Obama does not represent their views.

For decades, African American voters have been tremendously loyal to the Democratic Party. In the last presidential election, over 98% of black voters supported Barack Obama. This monolithic support was due to racial pride, ideology and party affiliation.

Unfortunately for African Americans in this country, this loyalty has been misplaced….

These Democratic politicians continually promote big government policies which do not work. These Democratic policies are responsible for the many of the problems that blacks face today, including the breakdown of the traditional family.

• NOPD IN THE NYT: The New York Times‘ new man in town, Campbell Robertson, reports on the woes of the New Orleans Police Department.

• “CONTENT-SHARING ARRANGEMENT”: WDSU-TV and Nola.com enter into a “content-sharing arrangement.” Prediction: Everyone at the T-P has to change their name to “Mackel,” and society columnist Nell Nolan will be strapping on a Kevlar vest and joining the I-Team…

• AND FINALLY: The first trailer for Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans hits the Web. And if you liked K-Ville…

• COBWEBS IN THE MAYOR’S RACE: USA Today takes note of our paucity of candidates. Note the photo caption: “Nagin’s popularity is at 24% this year, a poll shows.”

• MORE SWINE FLU DEATHS IN LOUISIANA: We’re up to 14.

• PRESSING LANDRIEU: Several groups, including the NAACP and La Raza, plan an ad blitz to push Sen. Mary Landrieu toward supporting the public option in health care reform.

• THIS ITEM SPONSORED BY BOUNTY, THE QUICKER PICKER UPPER: The Federal Trade Commission is coming down on bloggers who don’t disclose freebies when they’re shilling products.

• THOROUGHLY RETIRED MILLIE: Millie Ball, longtime travel editor of The Times-Picayune, penned a lovely goodbye column on Sunday, a column as gracious and vivacious as she’s always been:

In my 41 years and six months at The Times-Picayune, I spent nine years as a reporter on the City Desk, wrote for Dixie magazine, the Living section, then Travel, and for the final three months, InsideOut, the home/garden/real estate tab, which enabled me to call strangers and say, “Hey, I hear your house is lovely . . can I come over and look at it?”

Newspapering has never been an ordinary job. I was a clown in a circus, interviewed famous people, including then-Gov. Bill Clinton (at a party), First Lady Rosalynn Carter, two Nobel Prize winners, Paul McCartney, Helen Hayes, an obnoxious Evil Kneivel, “All the Kings’ Men” author Robert Penn Warren, Danny Kaye, Anne Rice, Jenny Craig (the diet maven grew up in New Orleans), so many more.

But the most memorable were the local folks, such as the late Edwin Hampton, legendary band director at St. Augustine High School, where photographer Bryan Berteaux and I spent a month, from first band tryout to first football game. And Dillard President Albert Dent, who told me in so many words, “Do good things because you want to, not because you think people will be grateful. They’ll never thank you enough.”

Read the whole thing. Happy travels, Millie.

• As expected, the New Orleans City Council this afternoon voted to give the next council a pay raise, with Arnie Fielkow as the swing vote in a 4-3 result — not a veto-proof majority. What will Mayor Ray Nagin do?

• Speaking of the pay raise: Clancy DuBos argued for it in his column this week, and today The Times-Picayune editorialized against it, even as the paper acknowledged the council hasn’t had a raise since 1986. Just wondering how many people on the editorial board over at 3800 Howard haven’t had a raise since 1986…much less make $42,500 a year.

• Gov. Bobby Jindal kicked off flu season by getting a flu jab in Lafayette.

• Rep. Anh “Joseph” Cao tells the Huffington Post he still doesn’t know how he’s going to vote on health care reform.

• Scott Fujita’s support this week of same-sex marriage has drawn more than 100 comments on the Saints fan forum Canal Street Chronicles.

• Rev. Ted Haggard, back in the saddle again. And, oh, yeah, he was lying when he said he didn’t do meth, because he totally did.

• CityBusiness reports this year’s Tales of the Cocktail had a $10 million impact on the city. And we still remember when Ann Rogers Tuennerman (”Mrs. Cocktail”) dreamed it up in her living room.

• And here’s your final schedule for this weekend’s Gretna Heritage Festival.