On Aug. 6, Sen. David Vitter, who is facing a tough reelection fight this fall, sent out an email with the subject line MUD ALERT! — outlining what he said were connections between his Democratic opponent, Rep. Charlie Melancon, and his eleventh-hour Republican opponent, north Louisiana’s Chet Traylor, whom he described as “nothing more than a tool and stalking horse for Charlie Melancon.” But it was a line later in the sixth paragraph of the email that seemed to indicate Vitter thought something was about to drop soon: “Vicious attacks are about to start,” he wrote, “and Charlie Melancon is clearly behind the push.” Elsewhere in the email, Vitter wrote, “And this Melancon led Republican Primary operation will start vicious attacks against me as early as Tuesday.”

Well, it’s Tuesday — and today Melancon released the first TV commercial of the campaign (which will not be running in the New Orleans and Baton Rouge TV markets):

“I’m Charlie Melancon, and I approved this message because David Vitter hasn’t been honest with Louisiana,” it begins. Not nice, perhaps — but “vicious attack”?

Vitter concluded his email with “More details to follow soon.” We’ll see — and we’ll see which camp they come from.

With the revelation by Helena Moreno that James Perry, her opponent for the District 93 seat in the state legislature, has racked up 90 parking tickets, 42 traffic citations and has actually been arrested twice for not tending to his poor driving record, local political folks were waiting for the inevitable Moreno attack ad. The question wasn’t whether it was coming; the question was when, and how strong a punch it would land.

Here it is.

Mike Spears created waves in Louisiana Republican circles yesterday when he announced he would be running for the Senate seat now held by David Vitter — as an independent and “constitutional conservative.” Spears’ announcement was carried in many Louisiana newspapers (including The Times-Picayune), and he was interviewed on Fox News Radio affiliate KVOL-AM.

Spears, a former Louisiana National Guardsman, is now a Lafayette-based entrepreneur who runs his own Web development company, Firefly Digital. He told Gambit this morning, “When we try to reach out to Washington, nobody seems to respond. They continue to do things contrary to the will of the American people. I am running as an independent, not as a representative of the Tea Party. What I am saying is that my ideals and beliefs are consistent with the Tea Party, and it’s an affiliation I’m proud to say I’m a part of.”

Spears also took a swipe at Vitter in print when he condemned last week’s decision by a U.S. federal judge finding the National Day of Prayer to be unconstitutional, writing on the Louisiana political website The Hayride:

Last week a Federal judge ruled the National Day of Prayer, unconstitutional. This is an attack on the Constitution. Where is Senator Vitter, or any of the other Republicans in Congress on this issue? Our Congressmen must defend the Constitution at all costs. It is the foundation, the wellspring of our liberties and freedom. Today, its the National Day of Prayer. Tomorrow it may be the right to private property or the right to bear arms.

In the “About Mike” section of his website, Spears also spelled out his biography while making some not-so-oblique references to Vitter’s “very serious sin”:

Mike Spears is a devoted husband, entrepreneur, successful small business owner and dedicated community leader. Alarmed at the corruption and irresponsible behavior of sitting Congressmen, Mike has decided to take a stand and is running for U.S. Senate ….

Like many Americans Mike has proven himself a successful innovator and small business owner. His credibility is strengthened by an impressive portfolio of relevant community service work. Mike’s arrival in Washington is sure to shake-up the political “status quo.”

Omitted from the entrepreneurial resume on his election site was one of Spears’ side businesses, one more colorful than that of Web provider: Spears owns a company called Molle Tache, where he calls himself “The Dog Designer.”

Molle Tache (French for ’soft spot’) sells high-end pet furniture and fashions “fitting for any dog’s home, personality and lifestyle,” and Spears has written that his dream as The Dog Designer is to have his own reality show and become the “host of an wildly popular dog style and fashion TV program.”

A June 2008 profile of Spears in the Lafayette weekly The Independent mentions that Spears does all the design and manufacturing for Molle Teche himself, including the “Stage Coach” dog bed ($28,500) and the “Queen’s Obsession” ($18,500), “a four poster bed with a Swarovski crystal chandelier.”

The Dog Designer’s couture pieces includes canine clothing lines with names like “The Little Socialite Collection” (a sleeveless dog gown with “ruffled accents on the collar and skirt and pearl buttons along the back line”), the “EuroStyle,” “Dress Blues,” and “Lace Formal” (”It’s exquisite and charming, playful and elegant. It’s exactly what a sophisticated dog requires for any affair, particularly one in your honor! The Lace Formal features a well-fitted jacked, layered laced over satin with prim lace trimmings, adorned with Victorian buttons along the back. Underneath is a delicate ruffled blouse, with a lace collar”).

Spears (who, along with wife Ilse, has five dogs, all rescue animals) laughed when asked about his alternate identity as the Dog Designer. “I was one of those guys who watched This Old House and The New Yankee Workshop,” he said. “Once I had my own workshop, then I got these 2 little Yorkies, and taught myself how to do upholstery and build furniture.” Spears said his life as the Dog Designer was a side business and hobby that’s been shelved, partially due to the recession: “They take so much time to do that I have to price them outrageously. I’ve sold quite a few smaller pieces, but the larger pieces — I haven’t sold any,” and added he’s also put aside hopes of hosting a reality show: “All that sort of stuff sort of died when the recession hit. I recognized I didn’t have the time or resources into that venture.”

Spears says he’s now concentrating on national politics, and strategizing about how to compete with the war chests already built up by the leading contenders in the race, Vitter and Rep. Charlie Melancon. He says his campaign will likely be funded by small individual donations: “I don’t want to ally my campaign with special interests. We have adopted a Pledge of Fidelity regardless of the source of our contributions.”

Above all, Spears added, is his concern for the U.S. Constitution and America’s future: “I just recently got married and we’re planning on having kids, and I look at their future — the way things are changing now — and it worries me.” But he’s hopeful about his campaign.

“We thought we’d have a slow start, but our original launch and our press conference generated a lot of stir,” Spears said, adding he hadn’t heard much from Melancon supporters yet. “But I have seen a lot of commentary from the strong Vitter supporters, and the feeling is: ‘Finally. Wow. We have a choice.”

It was almost a year ago when Baton Rouge-born porn star Stormy Daniels announced she was “exploring” the notion of running for Congress against Sen. David Vitter this November. Since then, Congressman Charlie Melancon has entered the race, but Daniels has teased and teased, making public appearances (clothed and unclothed), but offering nothing … firm as to her decision.

Last week, Daniels — whose grasp of the publicity pole is unmatched — issued a statement saying she was switching her political allegiance from Independent to Republican, and offering a unique reason for doing so:

After months of careful deliberation and consult as to the true nature of my political affiliation I am ready today to declare that should I seek the office of US Senator from the great state of Louisiana that I will do so as a Republican.

While this decision has not been an easy one, recent events regarding Republican National Committee fundraising at Voyeur, an LA based lesbian bondage themed nightclub, finally tipped the scales.

As I have said for well over a year, it is time that our government and our tax policy begin rewarding entrepreneurship and creativity again. It is time again to inspire positive risks and out-of-the-box thinking in the interest of growing a strong economy and a strong America.

For me, this spirit can be summed up in the RNC’s investment of donor funds at Voyeur.

As someone who has worked extensively in both the club and film side of the Adult Entertainment Industry, I know from experience that a mere $1900 outlay at a club with the reputation of Voyeur is a clear indication of a frugal investment with a keen eye toward maximum return.

Naturally, all this tongue-in-cheek drollery isn’t sitting well with the National Republican Senatorial Committee:

“It’s been clear for months, and evidence bears it out, that this is nothing but a shameless PR stunt engineered by Democrat Party operatives with connections to the Melancon campaign,” said NRSC spokesman Brian Walsh. He added, “Charlie Melancon and his campaign operatives owe voters in Louisiana an apology, as do media outlets like The Associated Press who have given ink to this nonsense at a time when there are so many important issues facing the state of Louisiana and our country.”

Meanwhile, Daniels spokesman Brian Welsh (not to be confused with the NRSC’s Brian Walsh), has announced Daniels finally would be making her intentions clear on April 15 as a way of highlighting the need for tax relief.

Or is there another motive? Daniels’ campaign site (www.draftstormy.com) hasn’t been updated since May 2009. However, Daniels now has an announcement up at another address: “Great News — my sites is [sic] being totally revamped.”

Like a typical campaign site, Daniels’ new site will be taking donations; unlike a typical campaign site, it includes a photo of the candidate topless and wearing a leather skirt, and promises to offer even more titillating images and nocturnal admissions … all for a monthly fee.

The date of Stormy’s relaunch? “April 2010.” Given the date of her senatorial announcement — April 15 — surely the timing behind this new Web site is just a coincidence.

As the annual legislative session opened last Monday (March 29), the House seat representing Louisiana’s most valuable real estate was vacant — and it will remain vacant for at least four more weeks, possibly eight.

House District 93 includes all of the CBD and Warehouse District, much of the French Quarter and Treme, and parts of the Lower Garden District, Central City, Faubourgs Marigny and St. John, and Mid-City.

Put another way, no one in the House currently speaks directly for the Superdome, the Arena, the Aquarium and IMAX Theatre, the Riverfront, the medical districts (including the LSU/VA hospital), the port, the World War II Museum, Harrah’s casino, the downtown hotels, many of the city’s landmark restaurants, Jackson Square, Congo Square and parts of Esplanade Ridge — just to name a few.

How did this happen?

It was a chain reaction. It started in December when then-state Sen. Cheryl Gray Evans resigned to join her husband in Connecticut. On Feb. 6, then-state Rep. Karen Carter Peterson, who represented House District 93, won a special election to succeed Gray. House Speaker Jim Tucker called the election to succeed Peterson for May 1, with a runoff (if needed) on May 29.

The annual legislative session that began last Monday must end by June 21, which means the new representative from the city’s economic nerve center could miss nearly 80 percent of this year’s session. At a minimum, the district will be unrepresented for nearly half the session.

That’s just part of the story. The May 1 primary falls on the second weekend of Jazz Fest, and the May 29 runoff falls on Memorial Day weekend. Turnout on both days figures to be very, very low, and that will figure prominently in the race to succeed Peterson.

This past week, six candidates — all Democrats — qualified for the job. They are:

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