Seems like every day now we hear about the Second Coming of bedbugs. DDT wiped ‘em out after World War II, but the new breed, like something out of a horror movie, has mutated and is taking over hotel and motel rooms one bite at a time. If they’re not infesting an AMC theater in Times Square (oh God), they’re invading file cabinets in offices (oh God oh God) or luxury car dealerships. And on last night’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart featured this absolutely horrifying, David Lynch-meets-children’s-television PSA about bedbugs (starring Isabella Rossellini!):

The first I’d heard of it was a friend from New Orleans who had moved to Cincinnati with his wife; they’ve found bedbugs in their house twice now and are on the verge of a mutual nervous bedbug-breakdown. So it wasn’t surprising when the list of “America’s Top 10 Bedbug-Infested Cities” came out today and Cincinnati was #1. Just try to read this paragraph without itching:

David Ralph Hoffman, owner of Merlin’s Pest Control, says if you don’t know someone who has had a bedbug problem, you don’t live in Cincinnati. At Merlin’s they rate their horror stories on a scale of 1 to 10. The worst was an apartment occupied by someone who bragged about the last time he’d had a bath (not recently). The apartment was also occupied by about 100,000 bedbugs, Hoffman says, kept in checked only by an equal number of German cockroaches. “The one we had that we call our 9.5, the gentleman was a World War II vet and pale, sick, dying, grumpy as hell—and we found over 50 bedbugs in the hat he was wearing.”

The good news: For once, New Orleans isn’t at the top of one of these horrible lists that no one wants to top — it doesn’t appear in the Top 10. The good/bad news: If you’re traveling, you can check the site Bedbug Registry to see if anyone’s reported blood-sucking creatures between the sheets of your luxury hotel or flophouse (bedbugs respect no class or income level).

Have you had any experience or warning about bedbugs when you traveled this summer? Just in case you don’t know what they look like …

According to plan, as Tropical Storm Bonnie gets uncomfortably close. From Unified Incident Command:

The Wildlife Rehabilitation Center in Buras, LA, which is providing medical care to oiled wildlife, will relocate to a larger facility in Hammond, LA early Friday morning. The transport will occur overnight in order to minimize stress on the animals.

The current Fort Jackson Bird Rehabilitation Facility is located in a hurricane evacuation zone and subject to damage from tropical storms and hurricanes. Moving the facility to the Hammond site eliminates the risk of evacuation in the event of a storm and reduces stress and potential loss of life of the birds.

Initially, the Hammond Bird Rehabilitation Facility will be capable of handling approximately 1,000 birds. Capacity could increase to as many as 2,000 to 3,000 birds.

When it was announced earlier this month that the move was imminent, I was writing a story (”The Volunteers of BP’s America“) about volunteering in Port Sulphur as birds came in and were sent to Fort Jackson, where they’re cleaned, or, if they’re dead, catalogued. Now, instead of a 20-minute drive to the Buras facility, the animals that come to Plaquemines will have to make a two-hour trip to Hammond:

Tom Buckley with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service says he doesn’t anticipate any problems relocating that far from the docks.

“It’s obviously a little bit further away,” he says. “Right now it’s in the No. 1 top hurricane evacuation zone, so moving it to Hammond will get it out of that evacuation area, and it’ll be a stable, more secure facility.”

The new facility will have climate-controlled housing, more space for a larger volume of birds, and “state-of-the-art equipment,” Buckley says, “rather than the rubber buckets and the other things (wildlife handlers) have been forced to use — but which they’ve used excellently. But this’ll be better and more efficient for them, and I’m sure for the birds, too.”

Pickup sites in Plaquemines Parish, like the one at the marina in Port Sulphur, will remain in use. “Plaquemines Parish will continue to be an important location for receiving, stabilizing, and transporting animals from impacted areas,” the Unified Command release said. Wildlife branch director Rhonda Murgatroyd said the branch “is grateful to Plaquemines Parish officials and residents for their assistance, and we appreciate their continued support as we move.”

But that distance could mean rescued birds may sit in oil for several hours before getting cleaned. To Port Sulphur, VOO carrying oiled birds navigate a network of bayous and inlets bleeding into the Gulf — a trip that already takes more than an hour.

On July 7, Plaquemines Parish president Billy Nungesser said moving the facility is “unthinkable.” He doesn’t understand why it’s moving, and why there won’t be any cleaning operations near the parish. “If they would embrace more volunteers and people from all over the country to help, a greater volume of these birds would be cleaned at a faster rate,” Nungesser said.

ACT NOW (Artists Coming Together, Nurturing Our World) will present “ACT NOW for the Gulf,” a fundraising art auction to benefit the Louisiana Marine Mammal and Sea Turtle Rescue Program coordinated by the Audubon Nature Institute.

The event will take place at The Foundry, 333 St. Joseph St., on Friday, July 30, from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. More than 30 regionally and nationally recognized artists have come together to donate works of art in an effort to do their part to help the wildlife affected by the Gulf oil spill.

The nonprofit organization Artists ACT NOW was formed in response to artists wanting to help in the wake of the BP Gulf oil catastrophe. ACT NOW teamed up with Audubon Nature Institute and the Louisiana Marine Mammal and Sea Turtle Rescue Program and began preparations for the first benefit art show, “ACT NOW for the Gulf.”

The rescue program has been designated as the primary responder for the rescue, rehabilitation, and release of all marine mammals (dolphins, whales and manatees) and sea turtles along the Louisiana coast.

“We’re eager to partner with Artists ACT NOW for this fundraiser,” says Ron Forman, President and CEO of Audubon Nature Institute. “Audubon is thankful for the generous support received from many organizations across the country to help the Gulf coast region.”

The mission of Artists ACT NOW is to draw from the talents and compassion of artists across the globe to provide aid and relief to anyone and anything in need as a result of man-made or natural catastrophes.

The event will feature donated works by artists with both regional and national recognition including: Aubrey Edwards, Charles Merrell, Doug Keese, Jason DuMouchel, Sean Friloux, Karen Ocker, Kristin Littwin Gile, Tim Trapolin, Chris Kirsch, Christopher Morrison Slave, Brian Bush, Anne Cicero and many more…

Food and drink vendors include The Bombay Club and Couchon Butcher and PJ’s Coffee. Live music will be provided by The New Orleans Moonshiners.

Tickets are $30.00 per person and can be purchased online at www.artistsactnow.org (click on ACT NOW for The Gulf) or at PJ’s Coffee at 5432 Magazine St.

The Louisiana National Guard has finished a land bridge on Elmer’s Island, a wildlife refuge, that should protect the wetlands from being inundated by oil from the Deepwater Horizon well in the Gulf — and provides a reliable road for moving equipment needed for cleanup efforts.

There already was a land bridge at the site along Thunder Bayou, but it was built only a foot above the high tide mark. Engineers elevated the existing bridge and reinforced it with a geotextile fabric liner, 2,400 tons of rocks and 1,800 cubic yards of sand.

“The purpose of the bridge was to keep water from overflowing into the protected marsh and as a bridge over the gap” between Grand Isle and Elmer’s Island,” 2nd Lt. Christopher Hardy says. The bridge now is about 4 feet above high-tide level.

Hardy says the renovated bridge should diminish the threat of oil damaging the habitat of herons, pelicans and terns.