by Alejandro de los Rios

Since moving down here back in August (still can’t believe it hasn’t been a year yet) I’ve been completely enthralled with New Orlenians and their passion for their sports teams. From LSU and Saints football to the recent emergence of the Hornets, it’s a contagious atmosphere to say the least. Anyone who’s paid attention to my entries on this blog knows how much attention I’ve given the fans. And I’d say it’s been deservedly so.

Before moving down here I heard many people worry on my behalf about moving to a city that’s still viewed in the rest of the country as a recovery zone. I had my own worries as well, as would be expected when you pick up and decided to move to a completely new city on a whim. But all of my trepidation was quickly assuaged the first night I spent here and it’s been smooth sailing ever since. Read the rest of this entry »

When I attended closing night of the play, Someone Bought the House on the Island, at Marigny Theatre, I did not know in advance that the play was adapted from a novel. But soon into the play, I came to that conclusion myself. I also suspected that the playwright and novelist are the same person. Why? Because certain technical gaffs in the script were committed by someone with a fiction writer’s perspective on storytelling. My suspicion was confirmed in the after-show talkback with the author, Ken Anderson. The story itself is fine, if you like gay melodrama, which I do. But my main observation about Someone Bought the House on the Island is that the script is an awkward adaptation of fiction, and may have been accomplished better by someone other than the novelist himself.

For example, too often, the protagonist breaks out of scene to read from a dog-eared journal, long descriptive passages and direct narration that the playwright wanted to preserve from his novel, but could find no other way to dramatize, I suppose. These interruptions stop the drama dead each time. We writers fall in love with our own words, and are loathe to cut them. My unasked for advice (you knew it was coming): cut ‘em anyway. Like the Titans of old, we eat our own children. Besides, if you can’t dramatize it, then how is it drama? Read the rest of this entry »

by Alejandro de los Rios

I could come up with a million excuses as to why it took me so long to post this, but really, it all comes down to laziness.

Regardless, the Saints held their rookie camp this past weekend and invited media folks on Saturday to talk to players and head coach Sean Payton. For those of you who aren’t familiar, rookie camp is a place were draft picks, un-drafted free-agents and general NFL hangers ons get a chance to show their chops to NFL head coaches. Forget that, out of the more than 60 players invited, less than half a dozen will make the team (including the practice squad). Also, forget that, aside from the Saints six draft picks, media members didn’t know or talk to the majority of the players. Just know that rookie camp is just a big, humid opportunity to ask NFL greenhorns pressing questions. Like, what’s up with the IHOP tatoo? Read the rest of this entry »

In a stunning announcement today, the long anticipated caged death match between the mighty Reverend John “The Hurricane Avenger” Hagee and William Donohue, president of the Catholic League has been cancelled. Hagee, who has long been a thorn in Donohue’s crown for years and has described Donohue’s wrestling syndicate as the “great whore,” has apologized for his past remarks. Donohue, reached by phone at his secluded, training camp, headquartered in a small country located in Rome, Italy, said he was satisfied with Hagee’s mea culpa.

Wrestling fans aren’t satisfied, however. One fan, Marc Eagle, clearly expressed his outrage as he attempted to return his tickets for an event that had been billed as bigger than Hulk Hogan versus Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

“Dude, I bought those tickets for me and my son, Goldberg,” Eagle said. “What am I going to tell him? The boy’s a Hagee-A-Maniac.”

John McCain, a representative for the World Wide Wrestling Religions Association, said he was relieved by Hagee’s apology.

“Wow, is all I can say,” McCain responded. “This was like Batman fighting Robin or something. I’m so glad this is over. Now these guys can get back to doing what they do best: bashing gays.”

Thousands might have waited with baited breath for the liar’s latest release

B. DALTON BOOKSELLERS, EVERYWHERE, USA— Today, thousands — er, probably tens — of people may have waited in line to receive their copy of James Frey’s newest big fat lie, Bright Shiny Morning — scheduled to be released today. (I don’t really know; I wouldn’t be caught dead in that line.) In an attempt to redeem himself in the eyes of the 30-to-35-year-old male skateboarders and potheads who listed A Million Tiny Pieces — a lame-ass story about drug addiction recovery that he later admitted was bogus — on their myspace profile under their book “interests,” the author has written a new “novel,” using the word “shiny” as a nifty substitute for what us average readers would normally read as Bright “Sunny” Morning.

Poets and Writers magazine reports that “Neither [the agent] nor the publisher wanted the book to be reviewed online months before publication,” according to Frey’s agent. “This strategy is not an embargo,” the director of publicity at HarperCollins told PW. But perhaps it’s a new strategy wherein they’re hoping sheer suspense will compel his handful of devoted fans to buy the book without any information about the plot or context of the novel whatsoever ahead of time. If you care, the book is available online at Amazon.com. It’s apparently so great people already bought and posted several used copies online so others can enjoy Bright Shiny Morning even faster, and cheaper. Janet Maslin even wrote a review of the book for the New York Times in a baby voice so his fans could understand how truly important his bright shining moment really is.